Light Up: the Science of Coaching with Metaphors
"Metaphors take words from our clients and make them three-dimensional—something they can ‘see’ and interact with. That shift from abstract to concrete helps clients process thoughts and emotions in a way that leads to deeper awareness and change." — Lyssa DeHart
In her insightful book Light Up the Science of Coaching with Metaphors, Lyssa DeHart introduces metaphors as a powerful tool for deepening client insights, building trust, and supporting transformation. As coaches, we often strive to meet our clients where they are, and metaphors create a bridge that makes complex emotions, thoughts, and experiences easier to explore.
Why This Book Matters to Me
What felt most important for me about this book was the reminder of how metaphors take words from our clients and make them three-dimensional—something they can ‘see’ and interact with. That shift from abstract to concrete helps clients process thoughts and emotions in a way that leads to deeper awareness and change.
We know from neuroscience that learning takes energy and effort, and metaphors help lighten that cognitive load by making complex ideas easier to grasp. By reflecting a client’s metaphor back to them with curiosity, we create a sense of trust and safety—helping them stay open, explore new perspectives, and move toward meaningful transformation.
Metaphors as a Tool for Client-Led Coaching
Metaphors allow us to follow our client’s lead instead of directing the conversation. By noticing and exploring the metaphors they use, we gain insight into how they make meaning in their world.
In my own coaching practice, I've found metaphors especially useful when working with clients who don’t have English as their first language. Instead of expecting clients to articulate their thoughts in words that may feel unnatural, metaphors create a shared mental picture. This makes abstract or emotionally complex topics easier to discuss.
For example, one client once described their experience as "feeling like they were driving through fog with no GPS." Instead of offering solutions or reframing their words, I asked, "What would help you clear the fog or find a way through it?" That simple question, grounded in their metaphor, led the client to identify resources and strategies that felt authentic to them.
This technique aligns with ICF Core Competency 6: Listens Actively, which encourages coaches to explore client language (including metaphors) to deepen understanding. By remaining curious rather than prescriptive, we empower our clients to lead their own discoveries.
Building Trust Through Metaphors
Metaphors also build trust by validating a client’s experience. When we listen for and reflect back their metaphors, clients feel heard, respected, and understood.
DeHart emphasizes that instead of assuming we understand what a metaphor means, we should ask questions that invite exploration. For example, when a client says, "I feel like I’m running a marathon and never crossing the finish line," rather than responding with encouragement or advice, we can ask, "What does that marathon feel like to you?" This simple act of curiosity creates a safe space for clients to define their own experience without judgment.
By using this technique, we align with ICF Competency 4: Cultivating Trust and Safety. Metaphors become a way to affirm the client's reality while giving them space to reflect and redefine what success, change, or progress means to them.
Metaphors Shape Our Worldview
One of the most fascinating insights from Light Up the Science of Coaching with Metaphors is how metaphors actively shape our mindset, emotions, and actions. They don't just describe our experiences—they influence how we engage with the world.
DeHart references the research of Richard Boyatzis and Anthony Jack at Case Western University on Positive Emotional Attraction (PEA) and Negative Emotional Attraction (NEA). When clients remain in a PEA state—where they feel open, curious, and empowered—they are more likely to embrace possibilities and take meaningful action.
In my own coaching, I’ve seen how metaphors can guide clients from NEA to PEA. Recently, a client described feeling like they were "treading water and barely staying afloat." By asking, "What would it take for you to feel like you’re floating with ease instead of struggling to stay above water?" they began to explore new perspectives and strategies that brought calm and clarity to their situation.
By supporting metaphor exploration, we create a space where clients can unlock creativity, resilience, and growth.
Applying Metaphors in Real-World Coaching
Integrating metaphors into coaching doesn’t require complex frameworks—it starts with listening. By tuning into your client’s language, you can invite them to expand on their metaphors with gentle curiosity.
Here are some powerful questions to ask when exploring metaphors in coaching conversations:
“What does that [metaphor] look like to you?”
“How does that metaphor influence your decisions?”
“What would it take to shift that image into something more positive?”
These questions help clients clarify their inner landscape, reframe challenges, and uncover solutions that feel true to them.
Ready to Learn More?
If you’re eager to explore how metaphors can elevate your coaching practice, tune in to our latest episode of The Coaching Book Club podcast. In this episode, we dive deeper into Lyssa DeHart’s insights and share practical strategies for using metaphors to support client transformation.
Metaphors are more than just language—they’re a bridge to deeper understanding, connection, and growth. By learning to recognize and explore them, we unlock powerful opportunities for our clients to gain clarity and confidence on their journey forward.
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